– Carol Easton

O underrated aperture,
O humble little hole
With what panache you faithfully
Perform your vital role.

You work appalling hours
For insufficient pay
You only get a day off
When I’m on holiday.

Nobody sends you flowers
Nobody writes you verse
Nobody sings your praises
Your name is just a curse.

All hail the lovely asshole
And hope it never closes
And sends us up that famous creek
That doesn’t smell like roses.