get ready because tomorrow

by Alan Rodman

*
get ready because tomorrow is
National Fail to Celebrate Day
be sure to go shopping
and buy Nothing
then bring it home
and fry it
the more you buy, the more you save!
the best part is,
shipping is absolutely free
(handling fee applies)
so save even more
when you get two,
easily folds out of sight,
and they nest.
but wait!
there’s more…
how many times has this happened to you:
when she got there,
the cupboard was bare,
and so the poor dog had none?
well, now you don’t have to worry
about daily necessities of life,
because you have Nothing,
and no way to spend it!
that’s right! and
it is completely portable,
biodegradable, comfortable to wear,
and odorless!
so, now, how much would you be willing to pay…?
this all can be yours
for this low low price,
but only if you act fast
operators are standing by so dial now,
and get ready to own
what everyone has been talking about,
yet nobody even has!
made in USA
some assembly required
aim away from face
avoid direct contact keep cool