I’d Like to Punch Fred Astaire in the Nose

marty liboff

I fell in love and gave her a rose
she said I’m too short & have a big nose.
I saw an old movie musical with Fred & Ginger
he was short but was a great dancer and singer.
So I crooned and sang to my honey
but she said I didn’t have enough money.
So like another old movie with Fred
I got rich working hard til I was almost dead.
I said I’m rich now dear
but she still ran off with some dude for a beer.
In every movie Ginger would say no
but Fred would dance and put on a show.
Soon Ginger’s heart would melt & she’d be in love
and they’d dance like two angels from above.
So I took up dancing lessons to dance like Fred
she still said I’m ugly and she’d rather be dead.
I sang “Cheek to Cheek” & “The Way You Look Tonight”
she said I sing good but she still can’t stand my sight.
Fred was short and funny looking too
but now I know these movies are stupid poo poo.
I sang, danced and recited prose
movies are bull and I’d like to punch Fred in the nose.